Paper Plates
by OceanFae
Summary: The destruction of the Lady's dishes.


Disclaimer: Well, I dont own Sarah, the Goblins, Jareth, or a fairy. But I DO own some cheese and paper plates. Go me.

A/N: I really, really need some authors to write some humor stories. Somthing new. Somthing, well, humorous. Its a challenge, people! Do it!

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"DOO YOU REALY WANNA HURT ME?! DO YOU REALLY WANNA MAKE ME CRY?" screamed Sarah as she spun around in her kitchen doing the dishes. Her mp3 player was blasting in her ears, and she was jamming, but sadly, if you were to walk into the kitchen at that time, you would have just seen a cracked out thirty something year old woman singing to herself, splashing water all over the floor.

Life is great.

"_Next song!"_ thought Sarah as her solo ended. She scrolled through the list of artists, finally deciding on Matchbox Twenty. '_Hmm…'_ "Mad Season!"

"_I feel stupid, but I know it won't last for long… I been guessin', but I coulda been guessn' wrong…" _she sang… or rather, screeched, because who sings to impress when you're alone? '_You don't know me now, I kinda thought that you should somehow, has that whole mad season got you down?!" _She spun quickly and put a dish in the dishwasher, closed her eyes, and swayed to the music.

"Sarah? Hellooo? You in there?" a voice called from the stairs, but of course, she could not hear it.

"Well we don't talk about, the little things that we do without when that whole mad season comes around…" she called softly to no one.

"Sarah? Hey," said her cousin, Jessie. "Hey, Sarah… SARAH!"

"Yeah! What?!" her eyes sprung open to reveal the tall red head in front of her.

"Hey, girl, you coming to the park or what?" asked Jessie.

"Uhh… no. Dishes and all that jazz… You go on ahead."

"Okay! Bye!" chirped the enthusiastic red head that was already out the door.

"Bye… I think…"

"NEW SONG!!" she yelled. Scrolling down to some orchestra music, she finished the dishes.

"Finally!" she exclaimed as she pranced out of the kitchen and into her bedroom. The walls and the floor were littered with old papers, math and science magazines, and notes. She worked half the year as a marine paleontologist, and the other half as a writer for a crypto-zoo-oligy magazine. Fantasy and history were her things, so she became set on spending her life entwining them.

She was sitting down at the computer and turned it on, waiting for the signal to type in her password, when she heard the crash from the kitchen. Flying out the door, or at least attempting to, she raced into the kitchen to find three things.

One: There was a goblin on the counter, eating what appeared to be pudding.

Two: There were five goblins on the floor, wrestling for the control of a string of sausages.

Three: There was a very angry looking fairy that was hovering over the caos, flinging plates at the gobins.

Her plates.

Normally, Sarah would have screamed "WHAT THE HELL?!" and been done with it. But, she was in a very cheery mood today, so she decided to take a better action.

She tiptoed quietly over to the sink, grabbed the spray nozzle, and started attacking the goblins fire-fighter style.

"Ahh! Run!" Screamed the now wet goblins, and one by one they began popping away with a sucking noise. Well, except one goblin, who apparently had not noticed the rest of his companions leave and was still happily munching away on his cheese.

"LEAVE. NOW." Ordered a very disgruntled Sarah, speaking to the goblin and the fairy, who was now turning red with rage. "OUT!" she screeched, and just like that, they were gone. But they left the mess behind.

"Ohh, why… why?" groaned Sarah, who was now going to fetch the broom. "You know what? That is the forth time this has happened in the last two weeks. I should just call their king and get him to do something about it. Or switch to paper plates…" she grumbled as she made her way out of the storage closet and back into the kitchen. Suddenly, however, the product of her earlier attack on the pesky menaces caused her to slip backwards. She would have screamed, but the sound seemed to be lodged in her throat as she braced herself for the impact. But it never came.

"What the fu…" she mumbled as she was coughed by a pair of arms. "You called, dearest?" drawled a British voice from behind her. When he sat her upright, she whirled around.

She had a very nice speech planned out. It was good. Full of 'just what do you thinks' and 'get your stupid goblins to stop's, but sadly, when she looked at the king, her brain turned to a mushy oatmeal like substance, and she gave a striking performance of a gaping fish.

He just tilted his head.

"fanks…" she mumbled, then turned around and headed back to her room. She decided she would clean the mess up later.

Well, she would have headed back to her room if she hadn't of ran into a hard chest. "Oof!"

"Jareth, what the heck?"

"I assume you called me here for a reason, Sarah dear," he said, clearly amused at the flustered woman's antics.

"Oh. Tell your goblins to keep the hell out of my house. I can't afford to buy new china every week!" she said, exasperated.

"Sarah, you know I can't do that. They like you to much. Plus, while they're here, they are not there." teased the King.

She just growled. "GO. AWAY."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, dear. See you next week!" he chirped, and quickly leaned down and kissed her on the mouth.

She was so stunned that she didn't even realize what he said until he was already gone.

"SCREW THIS! I'M SWITCHING TO PAPER PLATES!"

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Haha. ANNYYWWAAYYS, leave a review and I will give you a) a chocolate covered Jareth or b) a shirtless Jareth. Your choice.

Jareth: Hey! I didnt sign up for this!


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